BrandSnark: Good Week/Bad Week for the Big Brands

Good Week: Tesla – The National Transportation Safety Administration gives the company’s new Model X a perfect five-star safety rating, the highest ever awarded to an SUV. New slogan: Got you covered on the “crash.” Still working on the “burn.”

Bad Week: Womenswear Icons – The parent company of Lane Bryant, Ann Taylor, Dress Barn, Loft and other familiar retailers announced it will close up to 650 stores over the next 24 months. Ascena Retail Group said that 250 locations will definitely close and another 400 may do the same if the company is unable to negotiate lower rents. Sale time, ladies.

Worse Week: Uber – The same week the beleaguered company’s equally beleaguered CEO takes an indefinite leave of absence amid reports that he’s fostered a culture in which sexual harassment is rampant, a billionaire board member resigns after making a sexist joke at company event on – wait for it – preventing sexual harassment. You can’t script this stuff!

In fact, Uber's current tailspin has me so worked up that the "quick hit" cadence of BrandSnark was just too confining. I went long-form with a blog entry I hope you'll read and enjoy.